Cold Comfort

I dread the night.
Well -- not so much the night
As the void between
Bedtime and sleep.

I lie there
For hours sometimes
Pondering
Every twist and turn
Since I let you go.

What I wanted
Was perspective
And now I have
Far more than I need.

I still don't know
If I chose aright.
My life is empty
But honest.

I wonder how you are
And if you hate me
And if you should.

I suppose it's
Cold comfort
To know
I'll always love you.

[10/1/98]

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